Leading does not mean deciding everything: an FLR couple on tone, silence and check-ins

Krystine Kellogg has been sharing her own female-led marriage on Krystine’s FLR Podcast for six seasons. In this episode, recorded with her husband, the subject is not control at all. It is communication, and the two of them are refreshingly honest about where it goes wrong.

Sometimes his tone slips and he does not notice. When things get tense, he can shut down for a day or so, one-word answers and all. She has asked him not to, and has told him he may point out her behaviour in the moment too, because the woman who leads still has her own work to do. When the tyres on their camper blew out mid-trip, they waited until they were settled before talking it through; knowing when to speak, she says, takes discernment. She likes to deal with things at once and he needs a few days, so a weekly check-in gives them a safe place to come back to it.

The idea we would underline is delegation. Asking him to choose dinner is not a failure to lead. It is her deciding what to keep and what to hand over.