A chastity survey finds it works best when she runs it without being asked

Cat Boulder, who writes the Female-Led blog, surveyed her readers about chastity in their relationships in September, and 219 answered. She published the results in early October. Three in four said it had been good for the relationship, and in three couples out of four it was the man who raised it first.

The finding worth your time is about who runs it. Where she starts and directs it without being reminded, 68 percent called the effect on the relationship strongly positive. Where she directs it only after he asks or reminds her, that fell to 21 percent, lower even than couples where he runs the whole thing and she simply signs off, at 32 percent.

This is an informal survey of one writer’s readers, not a scientific sample, and Boulder herself allows that the arrow may point both ways: she may take charge because it is already working. Still, it matches what we see. The device is never the point. Her authority is. When he has to keep prompting her, it is still his fantasy, and she has simply been cast in it.