If you are not a good tease, you are not a good keyholder
Your man has expressed his desire to be a submissive male and you to take up a dominant role in the relationship. He told you about the chastity cage and you have locked his cock because it is going to make him a more attentive, submissive and an obedient man, right?
Wrong!
Chastity can surely spice up things and re-ignite the spark between a couple. It is like a dirty little secret between you guys, so it really does excite up things. However, if you are having some kind of relationship issues, communication issues, intimacy problems or sexual disconnection and you believe chastity is going to fix those things, then you are ABSOLUTELY WRONG.
I believe CHASTITY MAGNIFIES THINGS.
If there are problems in your relationship, it can magnify them.
If you have a good sexual relationship and emotional intimacy, it can magnify it.
It is just like a tool that helps you on the path of building a Female Led Relationship. It is surely not the core of your relationship but a tool to help you shape your relationship.
What is Tease and Denial
Tease and Denial (T&D) refers to teasing, sexually arousing and being naughty with your man without giving him any kind of sexual release. You absolutely arouse him and make him hard but withhold him from releasing his sexual tension. It does not mean that you are also deprived of sex. You can get oral sex from him, or probably a good pussy massage, or even PIV. Simply tell him to stop whenever he is getting close during PIV because you want to keep him denied.
I hope you get an idea of what T&D is.
Why is T&D Important in Chastity?
This is the most important thing I want to highlight in this article.
Chastity is not just a physical restraint for men. It has a very strong emotional aspect as well. Since your man is in 24/7 physical contact with the cage, he might feel submissive and controlled much more than you are feeling dominant. He has surrendered his most intimate part to you. He definitely does not want to feel that you are taking this lightly.
Tease and Denial serve as a constant reminder that you acknowledge his efforts. T&D makes him feel loved and supported. Chastity can feel very lonely for him if you just lock him up and then never talk about it or forget about it. T&D makes him feel accompanied in this chastity journey.
He should feel that you are taking male chastity seriously. For example, you should not keep the key lying around in the house. It will give an impression that you either do not care about the key getting lost or you are indifferent towards him unlocking himself behind your back.(Obviously, this is just an example and the thought process may vary from man to man). Teasing him and constantly reminding him that he is denied any orgasm helps him to get into the right mindset for being locked in the chastity cage.
WHY Tease and Denial?
Some women are born naughty and kinky while others struggle to get into the role. You might be thinking chastity is a bad idea because T&D sounds like too much work. You might also probably wonder that FLR is supposed to be all about you and it should make your life easier so why do you have to make extra efforts, right?
While FLR should make your life easier, T&D can be thought of as a small investment you make each day for bigger returns on a daily basis. Think about it, 2 minutes of T&D can easily motivate him to clean the house, do the dishes, wash the clothes etc. On second thoughts, T&D also adds a fun factor to your relationship. Female Led Relationships should make your lives better, happier and more satisfied. Tease and Denial is just one more activity to exert your dominance, make him more submissive and keep the fun alive in your relationship. And Yes, it keeps him sexually excited (and frustrated).
Tease and Denial can be thought of as a little dose of a reminder of who is in-charge. It is a fun way to reemphasize that you hold the reigns and he is your submissive. It reminds him that you totally own him and even his sexual release will go as per your wish. These reinforcements keep him in a constant submissive stage and prevent any feelings of loneliness that he is prone to feel in your Female Led Relationship.
How to T&D ?
I promise T&D is not too much work. Actually, it is no work at all. T&D could be as simple as grabbing his balls, or whispering something naughty in his ears, or asking him to send you a pic of his locked cock.
Teasing can range from a 1 second glimpse of your Goddess-like body (and even sexual parts) to 10 seconds long whispers to 15-20 minutes long edging sessions.
Edging refers to bringing him near orgasm and then completely removing any kind of stimulation. Once he gets a bit relaxed, you again bring him near orgasm and keep on repeating this process without letting him orgasm.
The whole point of T&D is to tell him that you are enjoying while he’s locked up. Here are a few examples of what T&D can look like :
- Fondle with his balls for a minute or two every morning or night ( or both ).
- Ask him if chastity is causing too much frustration and tell him that you are enjoying it.
- Show him the key and then keep it in your pocket.
- Constantly let his tongue caress what his cock is denied. In other words, oral worship.
- Play naughty chastity games with him like rolling a die to decide his release. Since you are the leader, ultimate decision is in your hands.
- Send him some naughty pics of yours and tell him that you own him.
- Kiss him passionately and then hold his locked cock and say, “Oops, I wish we could have sex but I prefer it locked.”
- Tell him to stop right before he is about to cum during sex and then lock him up once he gets limp.
- Occasionally refer yourself as his keyholder – “Your keyholder wants you to get groceries from the market”. See, how easily you changed a vanilla task into a little tease by simply playing with words.
The whole point is to show him that he is not alone in the game. You are as interested as he is. I strongly believe in –
“If you are not a good tease, you are not a good keyholder.”
Benefits of T&D
- Increased arousal and desire: By prolonging the sexual anticipation and desire, T&D can intensify the pleasure and satisfaction for men when they are finally allowed to orgasm.
- Heightened emotional connection: T&D allows to express our vulnerabilities in front of our partner. Men tell their deepest and most intimate secrets to their Mistress. They also expect her to use these vulnerabilities during T&D. You can check out this detailed article on vulnerabilities in an FLR.
- Power dynamics: T&D not only makes FLR more fun, it complements chastity. It makes the male partner more submissive, obedient, and devoted while it also arouses feelings of control, responsibility, and trustworthiness in the dominant partner.
- Enhanced communication: T&D requires a high level of communication and negotiation between partners. Engaging in T&D can help a couple improve their communication skills and build a stronger emotional connection.
- Improved relationship satisfaction: When T&D is done consensually and with trust and communication, it can lead to increased satisfaction and happiness in the relationship
Conclusion
In conclusion, I would just say that chastity is much deeper than it really seems. It is not just a piece of plastic or steel that will fix your relationship, it requires work. Your submissive will feel much more than just a physical restraint on his penis. He will go into deeper thoughts quite frequently about the things that have changed in his life. He needs to be reminded that he is not alone. He needs to be reminded that his fantasies are getting fulfilled.
T&D will amplify your dominance and keep his mindset in a good submissive space.
