I thought I had overcome this feeling, but lately, I’ve been again disheartened with FLR stuff online. I recently saw a post with over 32k+ notes on Tumblr on “How to train your slave?” That post mentioned stuff like:
- – Humiliate him. Make sure you degrade him. This way he will strive for better. Additionally, it will affirm your superiority.
- – It is absolutely mandatory to lock your man in a cage. Chastity cage is an absolute necessity.
- – Tease and Deny him. Unless you tease him, you aren’t doing it right.
- – Ruined Orgasms. All his orgasms must be ruined. If he will have orgasms, he will not feel submissive and he will take 2 weeks to get back into his zone.
- – Emasculate him.
- – Make him feel used
And on and on and on…..
Now, imagine a newbie sub trying to learn about Female Led Relationships and explore his kinks. He will look at such articles and these articles will feed his brain about his training process. He is going to get conditioned in such a way that the only way for him to submit would be when his kinks are satisfied. He will develop expectations from his future Dom that she will train him by undertaking similar measures as mentioned in such articles.
He will develop a mental image of how his FLR is going to look like. When he does not experience this mental image in real life, he is going to put pressure on his girlfriend/wife to be a “good dom”. According to him, a good Dom would be one who caters to his kinks and fetishes. FLR would be revolving around his kinks instead of her needs. No wonder why so many men “Top from the Bottom”.
Another reason for massive widespread BS is that the majority of the audience of these blogs and articles is Men, Horny Men, who are looking forward to reading erotic Femdom stuff in the name of “Educational articles”. These men would just read stuff that will seem erotic to them, they are not going to stick to articles that are sensible.
These men then share these articles to their wives or partners in the name of “Femdom Education” and their wives get freaked out!
We women think rationally. We imagine why a man would need to be trained based on kinks? Why his submission is contingent on fantasies? If a woman can dominate without sex in the picture, why can’t a man submit without sex in the picture? Read it again!
If a woman can dominate without sex in the picture, why can’t a man submit without sex in the picture?
Just like “Unconditional Love”, why has no one talked about “Unconditional Submission”?
Below I’m going to mention stuff that actually leads to the training of a slave. These are the things that I have implemented in my Female Led Relationship and these are an absolute necessity:
- – Communication – No relationship, whether FLR or vanilla, can exist without proper communication. I have specifically ordered my slave to keep an open communication with me. I am not going to tolerate any hideous signals in his conversations. Whatever he feels should be expressed clearly. I have also made sure to never judge him and always support him. No one is a mind reader.
- – Respecting boundaries.
- – Adapting to each other – Just like he has to adapt to my ways of leading the relationship, I also had to tweak my training methods to train him. One approach cannot fit all. This adds to my point using kinks as training tool. How can this approach be appropriate for training all submissive men in the world? You need to communicate and adapt. My slave himself told me his thought process and how he analyses things. He gave me insights into his mind to make my work easy.
- – Setting the right expectations – I already talked a little about this above. My slave also began his journey by reading BS articles but luckily he was intellectual enough to unlearn stuff and start focussing on just sensible things.
- – Taking feedback – Absolute necessity for both – Doms and subs. You aren’t going to be the perfect Dom and he isn’t going to be the perfect sub if you both don’t talk about the shortcomings of each other.
- – Supporting each other – Our first scene was not perfect. I was a bit nervous. But he supported me because he knew my mental stage. Similarily, His first nailpaint session was not perfect because he had never held a nailpaint before. But I was supportive. Being supportive instead of discouraging goes a long way.
These are the things that I believe are absolutely necessary for training a Long Term Male Slave. Kinks are a part of FLR and can definitely be used as bait, but they are surely not permanent tools for training.
Additonal Thoughts :
I want my slave’s submission to be as natural as his love for me. Just like his love is not dependent on my weight (whether I’m fat or thin), the way I look (dolled up or in baggy clothes) etc; his submission should also not be dependent on how I dress, tease and denial, sexual fantasies, chastity etc.
If he cannot serve me without a chastity cage or if he cannot serve me after a full orgasm, is he even actually submissive? Is his submission so fragile that it would go away with such petty things? His submission should be foundational. He should want to serve me because he wants to see me as a Goddess. He should serve me because he wants to make my life easier. He should submit because he actually is submissive and not just because of some submissive fantasies.
When I would encounter his heartfelt and true submission, I myself would want to reward him and cater to his kinky fantasies. I myself would want to tease and deny him. Since he would keep me so happy and satisfied, I myself would want to return to him and treat him the way he wants to be treated.
Since he has already told me his fantasies and weaknesses, I would use them as bait to train him. I would misuse (consensually) them to make him a better person, a better partner and a better slave.
Until next time 🙂
