How to Measure Your FLR (And How Not To!)

Everywhere you can find articles related to What/How/Pros/Cons of FLR and let me tell you something, they are just repeated from one website to another. I have gone through hundreds of FLR articles and they all told the same thing – Dominate your man, you will be happy, he will be happy, you will orgasm, he will not, he will be the man of your dreams and you will be the happiest woman alive! Then these articles will jump into implementation of FLR that is purely based on kinks, spankings, punishments, a steel cage and a strap on.

Come on guys! Get out of the fantasy world. Things don’t work like this.

A problem with such widespread BS is that you get the wrong metric in your mind to measure your Female Led Relationship. Let’s get into it.

We all want to be happy in our relationship. To be happy we need to feel satisfied. Thus, ‘Satisfaction’ becomes one of the metrics to measure our FLR. But it sounds way too open-ended and we need to be more specific, right? I mean, we do not go to a shop and say, “ I need  satisfactory amount of rice for the amount of money I am paying.” It is going to differ from person to person.

For example, Person A’s FLR may look like a dream to Person B but Person A might not even be happy in his relationship. This can be because B is looking at it differently whereas A is measuring his relationship differently. It is possible that if A starts to measure his relationship differently, he might be the most satisfied person ever. It is possible that his ways of measurement are wrong.

“But Miss Sana, how can we measure FLR then? “

Don’t you worry dear, I am giving out the measurements that should ideally be used to measure your FLR. I won’t go into detail because these are self-explanatory. (I’m not mentioning things like love, care, honesty, respect, etc. because they are by default, the foundation of any healthy relationship)

1. COMMUNICATION – The MOST IMPORTANT measure. A good relationship has clear, honest and open communication.
2. Fulfilment of needs – A good relationship has the needs of its partners fulfilled, be them emotional, physical, sexual, psychological and so on.
3. Sex life – The sex life is satisfactory for both partners (even if one gets all the orgasms 😉)
4. Happiness – Both partners must feel happy and content.
5. Excitement – A relationship that has a spark alive and where partners are excited about each other is a healthy relationship.
6. Understanding – Both partners are understanding and respect each other.
7. Non-verbal communication – Partners can understand each other’s intentions even if not communicated explicitly. They can judge the facial expressions or the voice of their significant other or their body language and comprehend their mood. (It does not mean that no communication is needed. It just means that you know your very closely and intimately.)
8. Special treatments – Partners in a good relationship never stop making special gestures towards each other.

And here are some measures/ metrics which you SHOULD NOT use to measure your FLR –

1. Amount of time you spend in cage – I can’t tell how many men are obsessed with this metric. Every other day there is a question on Reddit or Chastity -Mansion that “She does not keep me caged long enough” or “How can I make my gf keep me locked longer”. I am sure you can relate to this. However, this is just a fantasy of yours which I respect but this is not a base or foundation of your relationship. You cannot measure her Dominion based on how long she keeps you locked. Actually, her not keeping you locked is a form of Domination itself. She keeps you locked at her will and conditions. You cannot tell her to lock you when you want to be locked. However, she can lock you whenever she wants, which might be never at all! or she might suddenly like the idea so much that you never get to cum again!
2. Kink time – A healthy FLR should have kink time but the amount of kink time should not be used as a measure of the health of an FLR. Dominance & submission is more mental than physical. It is based on your devotion, service and submission. Kink/playtime is just a consequence of this dynamic.
3. Dirty things she says – She can be dominant even if she doesn’t talk dirty. Not everyone is comfortable talking dirty. I know you have been deeply conditioned by those Femdom/Pegging/Cuckold/Chastity captions but that is not how most of the women talk out there. Be practical and let her be herself.
4. Her tone while speaking – Many men assume that she has to be rude, cruel and should shout orders at them. She should be strict and assertive while giving out orders. While that might be needed every once in a while, it is not a ground rule for FLR.
5. Spankings and Domestic Discipline – A woman can implement corrective measures in her FLR/WLM but the way she wants to correct you depends on her. Not every Lady would like to spank her man to correct his behavior. It can be scolding, some other punishment or maybe just a gentle feedback!

Basically, the NOT TO measures are something that are not going to help your relationship in difficult times. For example, God forbid, you run into a money crunch in the future, her dirty talks or your cage time isn’t going to keep you guys bonded. It would be communication, honesty, respect, love and care for each other.

Also, these are in no way an exhaustive list of the measures but I hope you get the idea.

Just remember that in a healthy FLR:

• Her needs are fulfilled and his needs are fulfilled
• Her wants are fulfilled and his wants as per her want.
• It’s not about the chores he does but about the chores she wants him to do.
• It’s not about how long she keeps him caged but keeping him caged whenever she wants.
• It’s not about him being permanently denied but his orgasm being in her control whenever she wants.
• It’s not about how he wants the relationship to be but how she wants it to be.
• It’s about prioritizing her fulfillment to his.
• It’s not about his dick but her satisfaction.
• It’s about making her life easy, not increasing her responsibilities.