Be a SMART Submissive

Being a submissive man and having fantasies to submit is generally not enough. You need to understand the difference between having submissive desires and being a good submissive.

This is the same as the difference between having a passion for singing and being good at singing, You would need to train your vocal chords and practice regularly to get good at it.

When I say that you need to be a SMART submissive, I am not referring to being a brainy or good-looking submissive, though it will definitely be an added benefit for your Dom. SMART is an acronym for

S – Supportive

M – Measured

A – Aware

R – Responsive (Most important quality that I need in my slave)

T – Trained

Let’s dive deep into each one of these to understand better.

Supportive

It is very obvious that the partners in a relationship need to be supportive for the couple to be happy. However, the slave in a Female Led Relationship needs to be extra supportive. He should be supportive in her decisions, in her actions and the reactions that she gets. His Dom should know that she has his support no matter what.

Establishing this kind of trust where she knows that he has her back 24/7 would take time. Once this is established, she will automatically start relying more on his support. This is also an answer to the question – “How to make my wife more dominant?”

You need to prove your submission first before asking her for dominance. Just like you need to prove your performance first before you ask for an appraisal.

Measured

This is an interesting point. How can you measure your submission? Well, it could be apparent based on fewer punishments, more positive feedback, happier Mistress, more delegation of tasks, etc.

You can also measure it in terms of growth you both have seen individually as well as together as a couple. For example, my slave has learned –

1. How to apply nail paint professionally
2. Do pedicures
3. Cook food as per my taste
4. Maintain home as per my preferences
5. Hair straightening

And so on…

I have also learned how to delegate more responsibilities, be more patient with the training process, overcoming guilt while being selfish in bed, etc.

Lastly, if you are nerd and you need statistics for measuring your FLR, you can maintain a journal where you keep a note of reward points and punishment points. Over the time your reward points graph should go up and the punishment points should go down.

Aware

A well aware submissive is not only aware of his Mistress’s needs but he is also aware of his behaviour and his Mistress’s expectations from him.

He is able to anticipate her needs and fulfil them as and when they arise. A common mistake here is that slaves try to serve even when their Doms haven’t asked for a service. You should always remember –

“A SERVICE NOT ASKED FOR IS NOT A SERVICE.”

You are just fulfilling your kinks with these so called services.

This brings me to my second point that a good submissive should be aware of his own behaviour in his Female Led Relationship. He should regularly analyze his will to serve, his acts of submission and his motivation to obey.

He should not let his kinks blind his sanity. The first and foremost principle should be to keep his Mistress happy.

Responsive

This is one of the most important qualities that makes a submissive man desirable to me (and to a Dom in general). He should be responsive. What does it mean?

First of all, it means that his obedience should be immediate. He should get excited about serving me. He should feel blessed to serve me and he should obey my orders immediately, rather than deferring them.

There is something that makes you feel so powerful when your slave obeys your orders instantly. This obviously has an underlying assumption that the Dom is sane, practical and is not misusing her control.

Secondly, responsive also means that the slave is implementing feedback given to him. The Dom will only feel motivated to provide further feedback only when she sees that her previous feedback was well incorporated and implemented.

Trained

What is a well-trained slave? A well-trained submissive man is someone who has been shaped and moulded as per the needs of his Dom. His behaviour has been modified and he has been psychologically conditioned. Learn more about behavioural modification and psychological conditioning.

A well trained submissive man cannot exist if he is not responsive. It is the feedback from the Dom that shapes a submissive. Even if the man has all the skills that his Dom might need, he still needs to have the flexibility to bend those skills as per his Mistress’s desires.

For example, a submissive man might be an expert in home science, but if he cannot keep the home as per his Mistress’s needs, his skills are not serving a purpose. If he feels that something could be better managed at home, he should bring that up with his Mistress, but he should be flexible enough to accept her final decision.

Conclusion

Being a submissive is not enough. To be a good submissive, you need to be SMART. SMART submission is not a single step that you need to take, rather it is a continuous process. Be patient, be obedient, be submissive and be SMART.