While browsing posts in my Indian FLR Reddit community, I came across something that revealed a hard truth: many submissive men are approaching dominant women the wrong way. This article aims to help them understand what they might be doing wrong.
Consider how a traditional relationship typically develops. Imagine Sam is looking for a partner and finds Veronica very attractive. He approaches her, gets to know her, and they start going on dates. Over time, they enter into a serious relationship. Eventually, Sam feels comfortable enough to share that he has a latex fetish and enjoys role-playing. Because they have built a respectful, honest, and trusting relationship, Veronica agrees to explore these kinks with him.
Now, imagine if Sam had told Veronica on their first meeting that he wanted her to wear latex and act like Catwoman. Or worse, what if he sent her an unsolicited D-pic, saying that thinking about her as a teacher and him as her student turns him on? How would Veronica perceive him? Most likely, she would see him as a creep rather than a respectful man.
This is exactly what many submissive men do when they approach dominant women. They start with, “Would you be my Mistress?” or “Will you make me your slave?”
Why would a woman share her most intimate kinks with a stranger? Why would she want an unknown man to be part of her kinky desires? Just as in a traditional relationship, the foundation must be built first. In a D/s (Dominant/submissive) dynamic, the same approach applies.
The Added Benefit
In a traditional relationship, you may not know whether your prospective partner shares your kinks. But when you approach a dominant woman online (through a community or similar space), you have the advantage of knowing that you likely share some common interests. Even so, respect and trust must come first.
Dominant women are straightforward and decisive; they don’t tolerate nonsense. If you try to manipulate them or come off as insincere, they will see the red flags and won’t hesitate to block you.
Dominant Women Are Humans Too
Dominant women are not sex machines or kink dispensers waiting to treat you like a filthy pig. They seek love, emotion, adoration, trust, intimacy, and all the other things that any human desires. They aren’t turned on just by the sight of a submissive man. Being dominant is an intimate kink they share with someone they trust. As mentioned earlier, being Dominant in the relationship is an intimate kink that they would share with the person they trust.
Show Them What Value You Can Add
If you tell her that you’re a filthy worm and she can do whatever she wants with you, you’re not adding value to her life; you’re adding a task. She needs to see what you bring to the table as a submissive. Are you good at cooking? Great with computers? Do you have a keen fashion sense, or are you a talented musician or a great homemaker? Show her how you can make her life easier and better. That’s the true purpose of a slave, isn’t it?
Building a relationship with a dominant woman requires the same foundations of trust, respect, and understanding as any other relationship. Rushing into kinks or expecting her to fulfill your fantasies without establishing a connection first is not only disrespectful but also counterproductive. Approach her as you would in any meaningful relationship—by showing your genuine interest, demonstrating the value you can bring, and allowing the dynamic to develop naturally over time. A true D/s relationship is built on mutual trust and shared desires, not instant gratification.
Good day Goddess, sound advice on approaching a dominant! Especially like the part about added benefit to the dominant’s life! Love reading Your thoughts!