Why does a submissive man approach a dominant woman as if she is already his mistress? Why does he immediately start calling him mistress? Is this behaviour justified?
The world of FLR (Female Led Relationship) is filled with strong, intelligent and independent women. Such women need a man who is supportive and loving. They expect the man to listen to what they want and then strive for it. The man should make every effort to make his woman’s life easier.
However, what they usually get from a submissive man in their DMs is a long list of fantasies and kinks, hard limits, age and dick size. Do you think that this makes sense?
Why do you approach her as a Mistress?
Sliding into DMs with such an NSFW CV is going to just piss her off. Do you ever slide into a vanilla woman’s DMs mentioning your dick size and how long you can last in bed? What do you think the reaction would be?
Most probably she is going to block you and worse, she can even report you for harassment!
Imagine this, walking into a coffee shop and locking eyes with an incredibly hot woman, going to her with confidence and asking, “Will you be my girlfriend?” It sounds weird, right?
Without getting to know her personality, interests, hobbies, profession, or habits, jumping to the conclusion of getting romantically involved with her would be just ridiculous, why?
Because romantic relationships are built on trust, honesty, compatibility and mutual attraction, not because you find someone hot sipping coffee!
Where does this logic go in FLR?
When a submissive man approaches a dominant woman, on Reddit or any FLR forum, he immediately begins his message with “Hi Mistress,” or “Hi Goddess,” without any mutual agreement or consent. Why? You would not call any random girl “Hi Babe” or “Hi Honey”, would you?
But why do men do this?
This happens because all a man is thinking about while messaging her is how she can whip him, tease him, deny him, or lock him in chastity. The DM is a fantasy-driven desperation rather than an attempt to build a genuine relationship.
Some men would argue that they refer to women as “Mistress” or “Goddess” as respect. Well, if you want to show respect, use “Miss” before their names. Or ask them how you should refer to them instead of assuming.
Understanding Dominance
Men need to understand what true dominance is. Dominance is not just about whipping or locking a man. He thinks that showering a dominant woman with submissive words and ideas will woo her.
But dominance is not about a woman playing a role in your fantasy. Dominance is about the woman leading the relationship at her own will and terms. As a submissive man, you will be the one who will consensually agree to her will and desires. As a couple, you both will carve out the perfect FLR which will be suitable for her.
Men need to understand that their reality and their fantasy inside their heads is very different.
Would you do this in any other Social Setting?
Let’s think of this behavior in other scenarios –
– If you were in a college or university tuition class Whatsapp group, would you randomly message women asking them to be your girlfriend?
– If you went for an interview, would you immediately refer to the interviewer as “Boss”, even before getting hired?
– If you were in a gym, would you randomly go to a strong and fit woman and ask her what your next exercise should be?
No, you wouldn’t. You would first establish rapport, show respect and build a connection.
Same way, men should not abandon this common sense while approaching dominant women. Their lack of patience and self-control is very evident from the very first message they send. Think yourself, would a strong and independent woman want to be with a man with no patience?
DOMINANT WOMEN SEEK QUALITY AND CLASS, NOT DESPERATION!
One of the biggest misconceptions that men have is that dominant women are waiting for any man to just submit to them. This cannot be farther from reality.
These strong and independent women are confident and selective. They definitely do not want a desperate man with no self-respect.
Wait, why do I say no self-respect?
Think about it. If you are willing to serve just any woman, without even knowing her, do you have any self-respect? Is your submission so cheap and easily available that anyone could use it?
You are ready to be beaten and sexually denied by just anyone? You are ready to do the dishes and clean the house of any random woman who you haven’t even talked to yet?
You are ready to lick the feet of a completely random stranger. You are ready to be humiliated and insulted by her.
You are begging some online alias, who you do not even know!
This definitely does not show that you have any self-respect, right?
What do Dominant Women actually want?
They want a partner who is
– Emotionally stable (No desperation)
– Self-respecting
– Submissive (Not just at surface level, but with a deep desire to serve)
– Can add value to the relationship (and not just lie down and wait for the Mistress to perform acts on him)
When a woman encounters a man who is immediately begging to serve, it is a BIG RED FLAG!
If a woman responds to such DMs, it is most likely going to result in Findom rather than Femdom. She would be more interested in extracting money from you rather than building a genuine relationship. But hey, it isn’t her fault, right? She saw an opportunity and she exploited it.
You reached out to her with this proposal. You willingly sent her money. You showed her that you are vulnerable and desperate.
How to Approach a Dominant Woman the Right Way
You have come across a woman on a forum who identifies herself as a dom. Try building a genuine connection with her rather than asking her to dominate you.
FLR or Femdom is a shared interest between you two. That is all. This does not mean that you both should jump into it right away.
If you find a woman who loves kids, and you love kids too, this does not mean that you both would just start raising kids, right?
You need to focus on compatibility, interests, and understanding between you both. You already know that she is a dom, so once you both get into a relationship, it is going to be Female-led for sure. There is no doubt about this fact.
When you know that eventually you are going to be dominated by your potential girlfriend/wife, why ruin it just because of desperation and horniness?
Have patience and stop chasing instant gratification. Dominant women want real connections as much as other women.
Conclusion
Men, please stop assuming that dominant women are horny bitches who are looking to find pigs for exploitation. No!
These women are strong and independent individuals who have a drive to make their lives successful and comfortable. The partner they are looking for is the one who compliments their vision.
They need someone whom they can rely on and delegate their tasks. They want someone who matches their class.
They want someone with patience, self-respect and a drive for self-development.
Do not jump into DMs with template messages indicating your kinks and desires. Instead, build a connection and show her how you can add value to her life. This way she will know that you are worth her time.
And please, stop calling random strangers “Mistress”
