Imagine a Wife and a husband having a D/s dynamic between them. She is the Mistress/Dom and he is the slave/submissive. As a mistress, she does whatever she likes to do and the sub husband must accept her reign. Sometimes he is in disagreement with his Dom but ultimately, he has to accept what she says because she rules in their Female Led Relationship. Sometimes when they argue, he asks for a justification for her decision and she justifies it by saying, ”Because I said so!”.
It sounds like a healthy and kinky relationship with a mean Wife and completely controlled husband, doesn’t it?
NO!
It is not a healthy relationship.
This is something that nobody talks about. Such behavior might sound turning on to a sub and it may even seem healthy and exciting to the Dom but these feelings are going to be short-lived.
Why?
Because the basic pillars of a healthy relationship are being ignored. Such behavior is somewhere suppressing a habit of healthy communication between the parties. The Dom in this scenario is being SUPPRESSIVE rather than DOMINATING.
People fall into the trap of justifying their roles. So, the above-mentioned tendency is quite common among many practitioners. They tend to believe that a slave must accept everything his Mistress wants him to do and she must not care about her slave’s opinions because ultimately, she is the decision maker in their relationship. They tend to live in the illusion of their fantasy life rather than actually working towards building it. These fantasies are not going to sustain for long.
If I am wrong at some point in time, I would want my slave to be expressive and set me on the right path. It is his moral duty to do so. We’re partners first before being Mistresses and slave. For example, if my sleep schedule is unhealthy, I cannot say that I am the Dom so I am going to follow a schedule however I want. I cannot win the argument with this justification. Even though subs usually do get quiet after such a statement, I have told my slave to be expressive and stern with his opinions when I’m on the wrong path. He should tell me that my sleep schedule is unhealthy and help me become a better person by helping me get on the right track.
Of course, there are certain ways in which he should give his feedback. Even if he is right in his opinion, he has no right to shout at me while stating his argument. He should also always be respectful and patient while explaining his point of view.
I also want my slave to tell me honestly when I’m gaining weight, following an unhealthy diet, or not following my workout schedule. Most men in general are scared to tell their Woman that she’s getting fat, let alone FLR couples. But I want him to be my honest supporter. He should appreciate when I am right and he should criticize when I am not. I would literally feel like a bad Dom if my slave cannot be completely expressive in front of me or cannot talk with me openly.
I would like to give another example. You should not have sex with your submissive if you do not want to. Though it is applicable in all relationships but I am carrying forward this point in FLR context. I assume that you both have consensually agreed that you, as a Dom, are going to control the sex life. Now, the sex life is in your control and you have sex with him only when you want to. Your slave cannot and should not force you to have sex with him. But he can surely raise a concern if he feels that intimacy is missing in the relationship. He can surely raise a concern if he feels that the sex life has become less exciting. You both need to be a couple with a healthy relationship. Both of you should not be hesitant to discuss things with each other and ask for each other’s feedback. It is necessary to keep the foundation of your relationship solid before laying it with D/s dynamic.
As a slave, you want your Mistress to set you on the right path. You do not want her to hesitate to correct you when needed. In the same way, she also wants someone who gives her honest feedback. She wants someone with whom she can grow as an individual. Be her savior and her knight and always look for ways to make her life easy and make her a better person and grow together as a couple.
Keep dominating and keep serving.
