I have been reading all your blog articles and they see by far the most balanced I have seen on this FLR topic. Especially regarding the sex aspect of the dynamic. The one thing that I am not sure that I understand is the question about chastity. Does chastity need to be part of the dynamic? For example, I don’t have a chastity fantasy. You mentioned in a post that your wish was that your orgasms greatly outnumber his if you want. Is that a requirement for FLR? Reading a lot of posts (not yours) , it seems like it is. That keeping the submissive to 10x fewer orgasms is a good thing. I understand that the needs of the mistress take precedent. But what if she has no sexual needs? Does that mean that you would be chaste permanently because your needs can’t be greater?
ANSWER
Hi, thank you for your great question and for the compliments.
Short answer – NO, chastity does not to be a part of your Female Led Relationship.
I like my orgasm count being higher than my slave, but that is just me. Everyone would have a different preference.
I believe most men themselves want their orgasms to be lesser than their Dom, as it makes them feel submissive. Moreover, it is true that hormones play a role in the affection that you show towards your partner. I’m not quite knowledgeable about the specific hormones, so I am not going to name them here but yeah, keeping men denied does make them affectionate as refraining from orgasms keeps specific “love hormones” active. (NOTE: Just denying them is NOT the key. There are numerous other factors in play. Read this article for slight insight)
Denial also makes the Mistress feel more powerful as she sexually controls a man, who is probably physically stronger than her. Moreover, he is surrendering his orgasms and sex life just because she wants. His basic need is surrendered to her and it boosts her dominion over him.
Lastly, you do not need to compare your FLR with anyone else as every human being is unique and every relationship is unique. A sub’s needs can be greater in an FLR. It is all about what she wants and what you both agree to. Her needs and wants, then his needs and wants, consent from both parties, mutual respect, and communication will sail the boat of your FLR.
Side note: I think it is also possible that people believe in less orgasm for men and more for women because this is what has been fed to us from the content available, just like movies have conditioned us to the dreamy proposal where her prince charming gets on his knees to propose to her.
